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Hiding in the closet with coffee

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Archives for June 2015

Back Off, “Mr. Clean”

June 1, 2015 by Erin 7 Comments

If you are looking for me on a Saturday morning, you can be sure I am whirling around my house, running over anyone who gets in my way in the pursuit of one goal: clean floors.

In thinking about my obsession with clean floors I am forced to consider the obvious question: “What does a clean floor really do for me that I am so obsessed with this one aspect of my house?” It sounds twisted, I know. But, with 18 legs in this house (pets included), the floors are a constant reminder of the chaos that is my life. Littered with crunched up Cheezits, pet hair, random and lonely socks who have forgotten what it feels like to have a mate or be right-side-out, and way too many piles of stuff; it may be unrealistic but my floors must be clean.

For me, if my floors are clean, then my house feels clean. Happy delusion, I know. If there was an award for cleanliness, my floor is my ticket to the podium. While it is reasonable to want a clean floor, my love affair with vacuumed tracked carpet could be the inspiration for the next harlequin romance novel. Romantic, eh?IMAG2942-2

My loving relationship with my Norwex mop…

Here’s the truth, people: a clean floor is like a mirage. It represents a place I want to be and a way I wish I felt all the time. It represents a sense of order and control. That’s it.

My house is belongs in the circus. Not just because of the 18 legs running around but because it is like a carnival funhouse filled with smoke and mirrors. Ok, not literally – although I do admit there are far too many mirrors gracing my walls. Behind the facade of a clean house is all the crap and clutter that I just cannot seem to part with. Friends often tease me about how my house always look so clean and tidy. Smoke and mirrors, my friends. Smoke and mirrors. Open the first cupboard you approach and -BAM- chaos. I mean it. There are some cabinets that should come with their own insurance policy.  All of the crap that would clutter other’s countertops is really just tucked behind a pretty facade.

IMAG2945 (1)IMAG2946

The Hidden Clutter of My World…

I grew up in a clean house and my mother grew up in an even cleaner house. To say I have a strong bloodline of fastidious women is an understatement. As much as it occasionally drove me nuts that everything had its place in my house as a kid, I have recreated a version of that in my own home. Again, in my home it is just a mirage as behind the cupboard door is probably the best metaphor of who I am. The facade may be neat and tidy but the inside is a mess. The facade provides a false sense of order and control. Scary revelation considering the truth is that, metaphorically, a clean floor represents me. (Too deep for today? I had two cups of coffee so I am on a roll).

I’d like to think I am not alone in seeking a sense of order and control in my life by creating a space where cleanliness and organization rank so high on my priorities. While, with most character traits, there are strengths to be found. However, my realization that I am a mess on the inside is where the true project lies. How can I organize my insides? Time to go vacuum shopping.

 

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 Best birthday present ever...Listen Without Prejudice box set with DVD. Why yes @georgemichael I would love to hang out with you in my living room. I might watch this on repeat to remember the good times. #gonetoosoon #georgemichael #memorylane #listenwithoutprejudice #faith #timeless #90s #80s #heissocute #myhusbandgetsme #hidingintheclosetwithcoffee #happybirthdaytome  I’ve been fun for DAYS. Today I remember why our blog has it’s name. Mom. Out. #hidingintheclosetwithcoffee #thelegoscanfindthemselves #icantlookatanotherpuzzle #winterbreak2017 #somuchtogetherness #messyclosetdontcare #ijustneed5minutes  Watching flag football in the rain which in turn makes me question all my life choices. Why would we not just say the game is over? I'll never understand sports. #flagfootball #sportsmom #rainyday #freezing #why #wisconsinblogger #whydoilivehere  For the love...my house needs a break from all the help I've been getting this summer. My kids have been in charge of putting away dishes for the past month and this formerly organized drawer now contains literally all the things. Spoons have migrated from the drawer next door, all the spatulas have jumped on in from across the way, the handy compartments no longer serve any earthly purpose. And Janice, it would appear that although I've never met you I somehow now have your scissors. I keep telling them "If you can do it yourself you should" and this my friends is the price I've paid for my children's independence. It's time to call it a day and perhaps regroup with a tutorial and maybe some labels? And for the record I'm pretty sure their Minecraft worlds are ridiculously organized. My brain cannot take it. Amy #whatintheactualheck #theirbathroomlookslikethistoo #fixitjesus #thanksforthehelp #backtoschool #bringjanicesscissorshome
 Saturday morning survival... Todd has been working ALL THE HOURS. I was gone for a work trip, just overnight, and have seen him for about 3 minutes since I returned. He was gone when I woke up, but coffee was ready so there’s that. #besthusbandever We are out of all the things...milk, gluten free bread, eggs. And as you know we ate the sausage in a stick for dinner. So I have to start my morning at the grocery store. Woe is me. But my friends, I am taking a minute to take care of myself. File this one under putting on your own oxygen mask before you put them on your kids. Because I’m a parenting pro (ha!) I saved my breakfast scone from my lovely, leisurely Starbucks breakfast yesterday. I packed it in my suitcase. And I’m currently sitting on the floor of my closet next to my suitcase eating this deliciousness for breakfast. Sorry kids, I promise that someday this will be something you either do to your own kids or talk about in therapy once you find out I hid pastries from you and ate them in my closet while you waited for me to go to get milk. Either way, no regrets. Happy Saturday everyone, here’s to surviving! #starbucks #momwin #hidingintheclosetwithcoffee #orangecranberry #saturdaysurvival  How do teachers help their kids with homework you ask? You might think we'd run a tight ship. But in this house I lay on my pillow reading my kid's writing sideways, then give a lecture on how on Earth is it he didn't use complete sentences, and oh my where are the capital letters, then I follow it up with telling him how handsome he is and how he's just as cute as when he was a baby as I stare at him while he works. So pretty much he feels like he's getting top notch education right here in our living room. #teacher #teacherskid #lazymom #grammarfromthecouch #icanteachanywhere #heissohandsome #alsohewantsmetogoaway #wontstopcantstop #layingdownonthejob  This girl hit the mat with me this weekend. The instructor gave her a million different things she could do if the yoga class got too hard or too hot and I could see the determination building in her eyes as she listened and I knew. She would not miss a beat. And she didn't. This girl worked super hard and did the entire class, even showing me up in crow pose. She has a sweet face and a core of steel. Look out world, this baby has got grit...if she puts her mind to it consider it done. I want to be like her when I grow up. #livelikekate #lifelessons #yoga #girlgrit #lessonsfromthemat #hidingintheclosetwithcoffee  What does romance look like when you've been married lots of years? It looks like this. Yesterday was hard. There was a ton of commotion around back to school and room changes and a small flood in our basement. It was 8:30pm and somehow I still hadn't eaten dinner. I was the kind of tired where I want to eat something now and yet nothing sounds good. In short I was an exhausted, cranky, hungry mess. My sweet husband took matters into his own hands. Despite my grumbling that I didn't need him to get me anything he went out and got me food. He surprised me by bringing back all three of the sides I had been agonizing over and it might have made me cry tears of joy. When we were dating I made him the collage that still hangs over our bed. I cut some crazy ad out that still perfectly sums up this great man I married. "When she couldn't decide between the French fries and the mashed potatoes he ordered both. It was then that she just knew." And he's still going strong all these years later. Young love might believe it's going to be all about flowers and poetry and expensive gifts and lavish vacations. It's not. It's about choosing to go out after a hard days work and buy your exhausted wife 3 sides at Arby's because you know that small gesture will show her you love her. It's finding that thing that tells the other person you see them. You know them. And you go out of your way show them in seemingly small ways that you still choose them. It's keeping small pieces of your history alive in the middle of children and soggy basements and ridiculous ill timed projects. The world talks about moms having so much to do...this mom couldn't do half of it without this wonderful side-buying-man that holds her up in a million different ways. Here's to love in the middle years, in so many ways better than ever my friends. #truelove #marriage #hemightbenicerthanme #heevenrememberedranch #luckyme #romanceisnotdead
 When it’s already been a long week and it’s only Wednesday. #dinner #cantgetenough #nocomplaints #whatdoesthatsayaboutmycooking #hidingintheclosetwithcoffee #soeasy #oatmealforthewin #momoftheyear  I don't care what anyone says about the joy of shopping with daughters, this boy is a pleasure to shop with for real. Two pairs of shoes and one sweatshirt later he took my suggestions, said thank you and was fun to be with. Plus he's speedy. Boys are cool and he earned himself a @starbucks without even asking. #boysrule #boymom #sonsrock #coolestkidever #eyeofthehurricane  Getting some alone time on a Saturday road trip is easy when you have your trusty blankie. #livelikesam #saturday #roadtrippin #minivan #wisconsinblogger #blankielove #alonetime  Let's be honest here guys, there's a good reason we let our kids play electronics sometimes and I believe you're looking at it here. #trashed #theirroomsarejustasbad #realmomlife #legomania #watchyourstep #wiblogger
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