This is What Your Knight in Shining Armour Looks Like in Your 40’s.

Listen up young ones.

This is what your knight in shining armor looks like when you are in your 40’s.

Yes, that’s my amazing husband who is arriving on the scene with his credit card because what you can’t see is me, standing next to a cart super full of groceries that I couldn’t pay for because I couldn’t find my wallet.

Not sure you can tell, but he’s smiling at me. Yup…he had to leave work and he is smiling. His only words of admonishment were, “You’re not supposed to be grocery shopping I said I’d go this week.”


Young people, this is what love looks like when you’re old and it’s ridiculous how awesome it is.

Love also looks like me coming downstairs to a full pot of coffee every morning because coffee is love.

Love looks like all the lunches being made already so I can enjoy that aforementioned cup of coffee.

Love looks like someone washing the dishes while his wife catches up on This is Us while plopped on the couch not helping at all.

Love looks like a super patient dad doing the 5 year old’s homework with him every morning so I can get to work on time.

Love looks like running to the store before bed after your wife has forgotten to buy milk because you know the morning will be easier if we can serve up some cereal.

And you guys there were signs it would be this way so I have tips for you.

In college this love looked like boyfriend Todd running to the store for a danish I was craving or watching me and my friends on the dance floor long after he wanted to leave the bar or him being known across campus by the flower backpack he was carrying which of course was mine.

Young people, listen.

Do not be fooled by big, showy promposals and giant cards with candy bars glued to them with some cute saying or by your name spelled in pepperoni by a boy who’s asking you to homecoming.

That isn’t the stuff that lasts and let’s be honest…moms are totally helping them with those things.

Watch how he treats you when Instagram isn’t looking.

That is where the signs are.

Choose the man who will carry your too heavy flowered backpack in public because he will also be the man who bails you out at Aldi’s when your 40-? with a smile and a hug.

And that my friends is true love.




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  1. Laurie Shepardson on October 30, 2017 at 5:01 am

    This is great. Hit the nail on the head. This is what a real man looks like!

    • Amy on October 31, 2017 at 3:22 pm

      Thank you!!

  2. Nicole on October 31, 2017 at 12:41 am

    Love is my husband finishing the work on the dining room ceiling that I’ve bugged him about for months. Love is after he did that he stripped the beds, vacuumed the house, folded the forgotten basket of clothes from whenever we last did laundry, and went to fast food for dinner to benefit our son’s school.

    • Amy on October 31, 2017 at 3:22 pm

      Love this!! Thank you for sharing!

  3. Tammy Utigard on October 31, 2017 at 3:09 pm

    While I agree that your husband sounds wonderful, the blog seems to be missing something. Love should be reciprocal. At no point in this blog do you mention one nice thing you do for him. Honestly, you come off sounding selfish and he sounds like a doormat. If you want to teach young people about love, maybe teach them to give as well as receive.

    • Amy on October 31, 2017 at 3:21 pm

      I wrote this as a thank you not to my husband and a little lesson to my girls. Of course I do these things for him, it just seems out of place to mention how great I am when I’m trying to give him a shout out for how great he his. This one is all about him. Everyone talks about how hard moms and women work, this one is about how men do too.

      • Tammy Utigard on October 31, 2017 at 4:09 pm

        You say this is a lesson in love. You need to show balance. you don’t have to blow your horn on how wonderful you are. Unfortunately, this article sounds completely one sided. If you had said this is dedicated to your wonderful husband for all he does, I wouldn’t have a problem with it. To say this is what love looks like – no. It sounds like he does everything and you do nothing. That is not what love looks like.

        • Amy on October 31, 2017 at 4:14 pm

          I think you’re missing the point of the original post my friend. I’m happy with what I wrote and the spirit with which I wrote it. Have an awesome day!

          • Angie K on November 4, 2017 at 12:48 pm

            Agree Amy.. I got your point! And your spot on!! I am married to one of those knights too and don’t know what in the world I’d do without him !! He’s gotten me out of more messes in 23 years than I can count!! Love you Tim Kinney ?

          • Amy on November 4, 2017 at 7:11 pm

            Wonderful!!! So happy and thank you for sharing!

          • Knitone on November 4, 2017 at 3:03 pm

            Don’t let people shame you Amy for the beautiful story you wrote about your hubby. Of course you do things for him but I for one knew this story was about him. I too have a husband like yours and I’m not too far from 70. The nay Sayers are just envious that you found your knight and them not so much. God bless your family.

          • Amy on November 4, 2017 at 7:10 pm

            Thank you for the kind words! I’ve gotten pretty good at ignoring the naysayers around here over the years, it seems there is always someone who has to be negative. I just ignore it because their comments are really about them, not me. Right? So happy you have this love in your life!

      • Rita on November 3, 2017 at 10:24 am

        This is a beautiful story and one I will turn to for many more years to come. I actually work in the wedding /event industry and in the world of promposals, first looks, photographed and recorded wedding proposals, styled maternity shoots, and a florist’s nightmare…PINTEREST, etc…this is refreshing and as real as it gets. You may never know that you probably saved a marriage or two with these thoughts! Married 20 years this May, it certainly hasn’t been a fairytale…but I too have a knight that has saved me a few times more than I care to admit!

        • Amy on November 4, 2017 at 7:12 pm

          Oh my! Thank you so much for your kind words and I bet you do see it all. Here’s to the good guys!

  4. Kathy Mitchell on November 1, 2017 at 11:21 am

    Hi! I absolutely love this article! Want to know why? Well, because it shows me there are more wonderful husbands out there who love taking care of and helping to make their wives lives a little bit easier than just mind. My husband and I have been married for thirty years, and sometimes we’ll lye in bed and say, “do you think other married people are as happy as we are?” To which the other replies “I sure hope so”.

    • Amy on November 2, 2017 at 12:06 am

      Oh this brings tears to my eyes! Thanks for sharing!

  5. Donna on November 1, 2017 at 10:38 pm

    Read this a few minutes ago, and you’re right: This is what an awesome marriage looks like. My husband gives me flowers just because. If I’m cooking, and he realizes I’ve looked for an ingredient a few times, he asks what I need. Whether it’s butter, eggs, or whatever, his answer is always “I’d be delighted to dear.” Then he goes to the store and gets whatever I need. We both do laundry, cooking, washing dishes, and general housework and he recognizes that he’s not ‘helping’ me with my work, but instead he’s working with me to take care of our responsibilities.

    • Amy on November 2, 2017 at 12:06 am

      I love this! Thank you for reading and for sharing!

  6. Cindy Richter on November 1, 2017 at 11:00 pm

    I love this post and found it in my Country Living email. So glad they found it too. Makes me want to run up and hug my Mr. Wonderful of 34 years. Every word is spot on. And he sounds like a keeper too! Big hugs.

    • Amy on November 2, 2017 at 12:05 am

      Thank you so much and yes! Go hug your Mr. Wonderful. So glad you found him!

  7. […] Midtvedt, mom, wife and blogger at Hiding In The Closet With Coffee, recently shared the reality of her long-lasting marriage on Facebook, and it went viral soon […]

  8. Denise on November 3, 2017 at 4:41 pm

    Love this!!v Thank you for sharing!

    • Amy on November 4, 2017 at 7:11 pm

      Thank you for reading!

  9. Carol Smith on November 5, 2017 at 9:21 pm

    Love in your 60’s. Is caring for each other whether its watching tv and rolling your eyes at each other when something silly is on tv. Helping one or the other of you to the bathroom when you’re sick. Sitting in a waiting room while the other is in surgery and yes going to Wal-Mart because your wife can’t walk that far and actually smiling about it. Love is taking half grown kids and making them your own. Yes young ones its seeing that one person sitting in a chair or walking into a room and loseing your breath. Its not screaming and threats of divorce when you have a disagreement, it FIGHTING for what’s good and right.
    I pray each one of you have what I’ve had and still have.

  10. Janet on November 14, 2017 at 2:42 pm

    This is a wonderful post and that is what love looks like at 40 or if you’re old like me, at 70.

  11. Laura on May 18, 2018 at 11:37 am

    I agree this sounds wonderful. But not what I was looking for in my 20s. You and all the folks posting here are SUPER lucky. It’s sad, but many will never experience this. I married a sociopath who seemed charming and attentive in the beginning, then 19 years of hell, and now I’m a single parent with no support. And that seems not uncommon. I can tell you that FINDING a knight in shining armor with 3 pre-teen boys when you’re in your 40s? Forget about it. Game over. My hope is I’m helping shape my boys into knights for someone else. That will be good enough. Nice read, though — I enjoyed it.

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