The gut-punch comes without warning.

The realization that things will never be the same and also I really liked the same.

Dropping my girl off yesterday after a quick dinner since I happened to be in her new town I found myself in tears once again and it totally caught me off guard.

I have left her at school more than a handful of times now and it should be becoming routine.

But watching my baby walk back into her new home isn’t becoming routine as quickly for my heart as it is for my head.

I can say words that sound like things all the moms say and I even sound cool saying them.

“I’m going to quick grab dinner with Ellie before I head back.”

Or

“Ellie has been too busy to come home but we’re excited to see her at Spring Break.”

And on I go with my day, so mature and together and cool as a darn cucumber. My head gets it and when I lead with my head I sound like a grown-up.

Then I see my girl and she reaches for my hand and I am right back to dropping her off on my way to work on that very first day I had to leave her.

It is legit ridiculous.

And yet here we are.

So if you are still struggling with that bed in your house that has been made for too many days in a row.

Or if you come undone at the sound of your tall kid’s voice coming at you from a town you do not live in.

If you are waiting for your heart to stop hurting at the sight of them walking away.

And if you are struggling with this new place of being simultaneously so excited for all their new adventures and also wishing you could tuck them right back into your world.

Please know I am with you.

This phase of life doesn’t make sense and our hearts are not yet used to stretching across so many miles.

They really liked only having to stretch as far as their beds upstairs.

But we can do hard things.

And so can our hearts.