After a trip to Target, during which I aged 5 years trying to pick out a shower curtain with kids that suddenly had super strong opinions about shower curtains, I offered to get the kids the new slushees at McDonald’s because I wanted one.
Sam said I’ll take a burger. Kate said I want fries.
I said I just offered you a slushee not food.
How about food and slushees? replied the negotiators.
Nope. Just one thing. Or nothing. Forthelove.
They said cool we’ll take a slushee.
Looked up the flavors so ordering would be fast. Online it said they had fruit punch, orangeade and cherry lime. #notgooddecisionmakers
Sam said he wanted raspberry.
I again explained the flavors were fruit punch, orangeade and cherry lime.
Which do you think is better mom?
I’ve never had one guys. Just pick. I’m not getting any younger.
After a million and one years everyone picked.
Got to Mcdonalds and the three choices were blue raspberry, cherry lime and tropical twist.
My head hit the steering wheel.
Had to do the whole thing over while a giant line formed behind us. #wereterribleindrivethrus
Sam asked if we could eat our food inside. I again explained we weren’t getting food.
But look there’s an Incredibles toys in the happy meal.
I ignored this.
Got to the window and remembered I had given Ellie my debit card.
Searched for cash or another card while sweating profusely.
Remembered I had set up Apple Pay after the Aldi’s incident. I’ve yet to use it.
After another million and one years the girl at the window and I got this to work after discovering the problem was it was waiting for my fingerprint.
Got the slushees and drove home.
And this my friends is a small snippet of why moms are so tired and also why we would be amazing at negotiating complex things like world peace. We don’t just go through the drive thru like normal folk, we navigate about a hundred twists and turns to do every seemingly normal everyday task.
After years of this I believe we literally could do anything my friends. That is if we weren’t so darn tired.
Also there may or may not be vodka in this slushee.